SPAM is a rather disgusting meat that is grown on trees from Soviet Russia.
SPAM's history goes as far back as anyone can remember.
It was traditionally said to have been magically created by Yob while he was throwing cream pies at a toilet, who explicitly denies it.
Well, nobody knows where it came from, but everyone does know that for centuries it has been the best-selling food ever grown.
It has been used in numerous famous wars and face-slapping matches and so far every penguin and puffle that have ever existed have eaten at least 1.
SPAM tastes like the following foods all combined: